ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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