i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
