I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
