Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
