Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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