I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
