You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
