she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
