Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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