I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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