Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
