Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
