so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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