Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
