He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
