Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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