..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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