69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
