They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
