I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
