Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
