I think i peed on brittanys purse
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So much Jack, so little girl.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
