please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
