i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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