...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I looked at my own cervix.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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