Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
