I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
