So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
