You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
now i know why i became what i already was.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
