I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
