capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
