Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so let's talk penis.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
