Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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