it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
