TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
