i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
