Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dick very happy bro
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
