I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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