Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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