i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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