I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
