apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
