ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
