lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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