i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
