Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
