I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
