my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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