No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
