Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
