Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
