I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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